


nothing to be afraid of

by huphilpuffs



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, M/M, halloween gathering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 01:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16440209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huphilpuffs/pseuds/huphilpuffs
Summary: Phil’s pretty sure the scariest part about this Halloween is not quite knowing where the boundaries lie.





	nothing to be afraid of

Night time falls over London early in autumn.

Summer In The City ends as the sun sets. Plans shift. People scatter. Phil knows he’ll see most of them later in slightly different outfits, a little more drunk, a little less restrained. But for now, he’s slipping into a car with a few friends, with Dan sitting next to him, a shy little smile on his face.

These friends are people they don’t hide around, not completely, so Phil rests a hand on Dan’s knee.

“Did you have fun?”

Dan nods. He’s biting his lower lip and Phil kind of wants to kiss him, but he doesn’t know if they’re hiding that.

Part of him isn’t entirely sure that it’s something they do, that they’ll keep doing.

“Yeah, it was really cool,” says Dan. 

Phil smiles. “Good.”

\---

They put their costumes on in the backseat.

It’s tight, a little clumsy. Dan’s arms are too long as he pulls his top over his head and he accidentally whacks his hand against the roof of the car. He whines when he’s hurt and it’s cute in a way that makes Phil bite into the inside of his cheek to keep from giggling.

He pushes his cat ears headband onto his head as Dan pulls more fluffy fabric over his hands.

They’re friends are chattering in the background when Phil plucks the Sharpie out of his bag and presses it into Dan’s hand.

“Draw my whiskers?”

Dan does, his right hand cradling Phil’s jaw to steady him. Or just to touch him. Phil’s not entirely sure, but the fluttery feeling in his chest wants to think it’s the latter.

“There you go,” says Dan. His fingers skim across Dan’s cheek, where a line of black is probably drawn. “You look good.”

His eyes are sparkling. Phil wants to kiss him again.

He takes the permanent marker from him instead.

“I’ll do you,” he says. 

Dan sticks out his tongue. 

Phil draws a dot on his nose and watches, grinning, as Dan’s face scrunches up in the cutest way. It makes his dipples pop and his cheeks look so soft that Phil can’t help but draw little dots there, too.

\---

It’s different, being where other people can see.

All around them, there’s people who are just friends and people who will disappear to make out in corners by the end of the night and Phil’s not entirely sure what he and Dan are. Somewhere in the middle, he reckons. People who kiss on ferris wheels and in the privacy of Phil’s bedroom but probably not at parties.

Still.

Phil’s pretty sure the scariest part about this Halloween is not quite knowing where the boundaries lie.

But then Dan’s hand is skimming along the length of his spine, settling at his waist, and he thinks even that might not be so terrifying.

\---

They end up at the edge of the crowd.

It’s almost a corner, Phil thinks, but far too out in the open for making out. There’s so many cameras around and part of him wishes they were back in his bedroom, alone, spending the night learning about each other in ways they couldn’t do over Skype. Ways that involved touching, and kissing.

A lot of kissing.

He hopes all the cameras are off the when he reaches down, takes Dan’s hand in his and squeezes.

Dan turns around. His eyes are little wide, his face lit up. Phil feels almost bad for keeping him at the edges of the gathering, keeping occupied when Dan might be having more fun otherwise.

“How are you?” he asks, a whisper just loud enough to be heard over the buzz.

Dan shrugs. “Good. Hungry,” he says. “Why didn’t you tell me YouTubers don’t eat?”

He’s teasing. Phil can see it in his smile, but he doesn’t want Dan to be hungry. 

“Wanna go find food?”

\---

There’s a little restaurant that’s still open near the gathering.

They go there, order burgers and chips, and slip into a booth in the corner where no strangers or cameras will see them. Dan’s foot nudges against his under the table, drifts up along Phil’s ankle. He can’t help but think of how it felt to have Dan’s body under his, to touch way more than they can now.

“Are you having a good time?” asks Dan. There’s a little bit of food stuck between his teeth.

Phil probably shouldn’t find it cute, but he kinda does. 

“Yeah.”

“But?”

He shrugs. “It’s just a lot of people,” he says, and then shoves a chip into his mouth to quell the guilt of distracting Dan from the gathering. 

Dan just smiles, though. “It is,” he says. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

His gaze flicks down to their food. In the harsh lighting of the diner, Phil can see how his cheeks go slightly pink.

“I kinda wish we could spend more time alone,” says Dan. “Together.”

Phil really wishes they could, too.

\---

He’s not sure it’s a conscious decision that they don’t really go back.

They find a fountain, and somehow they end up sitting there, a little ways away from the crowd of their friends. The air’s getting a little chilly and the wind wakes some of the water drizzle against the back of his neck and Phil wouldn’t dream of complaining, not when Dan’s sitting down next to him, pressed up against him.

Dan’s body is warm. His thigh is pressed against Phil’s. He takes Phil’s hand, holds it tight.

“I missed you,” he says, a whisper. “That was the best part of today, seeing you again.”

Phil’s heart goes warm and fluttery. He leans his head against Dan’s shoulder and stares up at the sky, starless from London’s light.

“Is it bad that I don’t care about anyone else here?” he asks. He presses his face into the crook of Dan’s shoulder and mumbles: “I just wanna be with you.”

It’s sappy, maybe too much, but Phil’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be sappy when a pretty boy who might be his boyfriend soon is sitting so close to him, squeezing his hand. 

Dan turns his head, pressing his nose into Phil’s hair. “I wish I could kiss you again.”

They’re still out in public. Someone might see. Phil doesn’t care enough to keep himself from leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to Dan’s lips.

\---

They take the tube after the gathering.

Dan’s hand settles on Phil’s waist again, holds him closer than he probably should, a little too close for it to plausibly be to stay steady. People are still filming. People could still see. 

People  _ are  _ seeing.

Phil dips his head so his nose is brushing some of the flush at Dan’s shoulder.

He smells good. Phil wishes he could press even closer.

\---

Their sleeping arrangements aren’t super comfortable that night.

Phil’s pretty sure he’ll go mostly sleepless, will get back to Manchester tomorrow with smudged cat whiskers on his cheeks and red rimmed eyes only to collapse into bed and sleep off the rush of the day. He settles onto the floor with a pillow and a blanket that’s a little too thin, curling up on his side, closing his eyes.

He doesn’t fall asleep. Dan, he knows, doesn’t either.

There’s a moment’s hesitation before he crawls over. He’s not sure where the boundaries lie with this. The people around them are mostly people he trusts and Phil’s not entirely sure when he’ll see Dan next and–

Fuck it.

Dan’s staring at him, barely visible in the darkness. He opens his arm as Phil draws closer, wrapping it around Phil’s waist and holds him as he settles in against Dan’s chest.

“Didn’t wanna go back to Manchester without cuddling you,” Phil mumbles, words slurred with sleep.

Dan dusts a soft kiss to the top of his head. “Good,” he says. “I like snuggles.”

Phil likes snuggles, too.

**Author's Note:**

> title from Night Changes by One Direction. come say hi on tumblr [@huphilpuffs](huphilpuffs.tumblr.com)!


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